'No, I said we need more sex APPEAL': 'Shy' pandas finally mate after zookeepers poke the female with a 15ft stick with an APPLE on the end to get her in the mood for love

"zookeepers poke the female with a 15ft stick with an apple on the end to get her in the mood for love" I tried on my wife, the Doctors say I'll be fine in a couple of months.

All the guys reading this and thinking an apple on a stick will get things going... forget it, but you could try a rolled up bunch of 50 quid notes on a stick, that might work.

So this is where I have been going wrong all these years. You wait till I get home Doris!!!!!! I m gonna get out the granny smith and the stick!!!

Yang Yang finally gets to Bang Bang....

why don't you just let them back in the wild -- and protect there environment ? you might need to demolish a few million cr@-9y tower blocks but I know What species id prefer to see prosper -- !

The Dm pixillates nipples, but has no qualms about showing conjugal activity.

Wait till they get married......just you wait!

I bring lots of apples. My female eats all of them and sleeps and snores like a pig. Nothing else happens.

My wife is going to wonder why I dropped the flowers and started bringing candied apples.

Excuse me?? What is this FILTH??

I've tried dangling a carrot and failed, so nothing to lose with trying the apple technique I guess.

I'll have to remember that apple trick with my wife the next time

"Poke the female with a stick to help get her in the mood"... Worth a try I suppose, but the wife gets a little bit tetchy sometimes though.....!!!!!

What?, no pimple popping story today?

My wife usually responds with a chicken vindaloo and a can of lager.

Apparently then, apples are good for a lot more than just keeping the doctor away.

Need to try that with the wife and see how I get on.

They might of been waiting for you to stop watching them before they had some fun together.

She won't be pregnant! Because the male panda just eats,shoots and leaves.

I may give that a go later, does it matter what kind of apple?