Why Being Cheated On Makes You ‘Win’ At Relationships

It's Canadian Scientist folks.

That's a very poor assumption to think that being cheated on is good for a relationship .Perhaps these surveys should re done .One sees red when some jerk is banging your wife or girl friend .

This is clearly bxllshxt because we all know there were many women who kept jumping from one toxic relationship to another. Some people learn, some don't.

Oh here we go again... Scientific principles CAN'T be applied to matter of a emotional nature. My partner is the first thing i think about when i wake up and the last person I think of when we go to sleep and every hour in between.

More immorality in disguise I see.

Not sure why this is directed at females, it isn't gender specific, thankfully I've been through this and also have had the privilege of working with hundreds of different females, and it becomes extremely easy to read the character and personality traits of the wrong'ens who you wouldn't ever want a relationship with. The trouble is that often these people aren't necessarily bad or unpleasant, in fact a lot of the time it's the opposite, but they either lack self control, crave attention, are completely enslaved to their emotions or whatever and sure as hell shouldn't be trusted or committed to.

I was cheated on by my ex. She carried on with one of the juniors in her company.

She was a solicitor.

She was 31 and he was 19.

She kept telling me and other people around her ie her Parents she could not be happier in her life and could not wait for our wedding.

we were together with each other since the age of 16.

I always said if she carried on or said she stopped loving me i was out the door.

True to my word i left the moment i found out.

When i met her months later i asked her why, the answer she gave was your telling me you would not of done it if a 19 year old girl came onto you.

My answer was No and i walked away.

Did the whole incident stand me in good stead and the answer is yes.

14 years later i am with the same woman i met 6 months after that one ended and married and very happy.

Yes i was very cautious starting a new relationship but i never changed anything i did or lived my life.

Well it's a nice little analogy you wrote here, but I just don't think anyone going through that, whether they are female or male, feels like they won. But I do think that after they get over their feelings about it, many are probably glad to be rid of the ex. And glad the two timing ex is somebody else's problem now.

I agree 100% my wife's history was exactly this but now we have been married for 15 yrs and every day she tells me I'm the greatest thing that ever happened to her just like she is for me and p.s. her past cheating boyfriend is nothing more then a BUM!!!

Another typically dumb scientific survey. Where do they get the money to carry out this stuff?

Firstly what kind of revelation is it to say effectively people learn from experience?

Secondly what type of choosing process women who ultimately get cheated on is hugely significant. If the study had found that women that blindly go into relationships then get cheated on, became more discerning is very different from saying women who were very discerning and got cheated on got better at picking their next partner too. Avoiding this HUGE factor is dumb

Thirdly the study seems to completely ignore the factor of AGE. Typically when we're younger we compromise less, are stronger willed, etc. Some of these may or may not influence the factors that result in cheating but they certainly do affect our mental attitudes and behaviours. In other words statistically we know that the later we get together the more likely the relationship will last. Without removing this factor from the study, the study is meaningless.

.. and I could go on.

Suffice it to say the study and it's conclusions are about as useful as learning water is wet or that heating water makes it hot.

Article is complete nonsense.

Woman: My boyfriend cheated on me because I wasn't satisfying him in bed. (Men & women tell her she deserve better, and he's such a jerk).

Man: My girlfriend cheated on me because I wasn't satisfying her in bed. (Men & women tell him he's a loser who should've worked harder if he didn't want to get cheated on). The privilege of male agency: being blamed no matter what, and women always being innocent princesses.

"It turns out, according to science (and you can’t argue with science), that women who have been cheated on are the ones who ‘win’ at relationships in the end."

OK. Anyone else think we should find these scientists something more productive to do?

Who knew the world was SO perfect and with EVERY problem so close to being solved that we had such a surplus of "scientists"!?

"higher mating intelligence that allows her to better detect cues in future mates that may indicate low mate value"

Unfortunately, this could translate into being an insecure, paranoid person who is obsessively trying to "detect cues" of cheating where there may be none, and, ironically, driving someone away because of it.

I can't see how being cheated on is ever a good thing. I have been cheated on in a past relationship, so has my husband and it didn't do us much good, just made us paranoid about each other sometimes

My x-wife cheated on me, I divorced her and 9 years later I am engaged to the most amazing and beautiful woman ever. I won!!! I should probably send my x-wife some flowers and thank her for cheating on me. ;-)

It's a learning curve; not everyone learns (love, politics, religion, whatever).

10000% Agree - You will survive! She left, you fall apart, you rebuild, you become stronger and your strength will be way beyond that of the lying, cheating cow who started the process. Be Happy

The one thing that I have learnt from failed relationships, and it seems to be the same for the people I know, is that we tend NOT to learn from previous relationships. You tend to make the same mistakes because you tend to be atracted by similar characteristics in the people you end up going out with.

"It turns out, according to science (and you can’t argue with science), that women who have been cheated on are the ones who ‘win’ at relationships in the end."

Sorry -- I just found the 'and you cant argue with science' part funny to read considering 'the science' gets ignored when appropriate. Of course, the science is great this time as it relates towards horrible men that cheat on women. Horrible men!